


glass hearts

by withoutwords



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Coda, Deaf Character, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:08:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22970746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: It comes back to him in moments, and flashes, like an old video reel that keeps skipping. Bad, worse, and terrible, most of it.Except thinking of Ben. Imagining him there, and smiling, telling him, "Don't you give up, Highway. Stay with me, yeah?"
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 7
Kudos: 105





	glass hearts

**Author's Note:**

> for an anonymous prompt on tumblr: callum tries to distract ben from his guilt about the kidnapping by suggesting he kiss the injuries better.
> 
> this also touches on ben's struggle with his hearing loss.

They sleep. Ben presses himself so close to Callum he feels like a second skin - the touch and warmth and love he prayed for every hour that he was gone. It comes back to him in moments, and flashes, like an old video reel that keeps skipping. Bad, worse, and terrible, most of it.

Except thinking of Ben. Imagining him there, and smiling, telling him,  _ "Don't you give up, Highway. Stay with me, yeah?" _

When Callum wakes up, Ben _is_ there, and he's real. He's touching Callum's injured face with feather light fingers, tracing the curve of his eyebrow and thumbing along his bottom lip. He looks sad.

"What?" Callum says slowly, clearly, making sure Ben is watching. 

He says, "It's my fault," like he's the judge and jury and the verdict's been called. Which has always been like Ben, especially when it's about the two of them. But Callum's never listened, and he's not about to start now. He takes Ben's hand, and shakes his head pointedly.

"No."

" _ Yes _ . If it weren't for me you'd have been at that assessment, you'd have aced it and you'd be …"

"And if it weren't for me," Callum starts to say, then realises his mistake. He quickly pulls out his phone - awkward so as not to let go of Ben - and speaks into the microphone to write text.

_ If it weren't for me you'd never have been shot and never been arrested and never gotten on that boat _

Ben reads it, lips pursing as he pushes it away. He buries his face in Callum's necks, their fingers still entwined between them. "Keanu said he was taking the thing most precious to me," he confesses in a whisper, making Callum's chest seize with the weight of it. "Even that dumb prick knew I've only got two people in the world I can't live without."

Callum turns enough that he can bring Ben's face up to him, kiss him easy and gentle as his hand caresses up and into his hair. Pain spikes in his ribs when they move to tangle themselves up in each other - but Callum bites down on it and instead rides the wave.

Ben's here, and he's okay, and he's Callum's.

"That hurt?" Ben asks, obviously catching the wince, but Callum smiles. 

"I'm good," he promises, making sure Ben understands. Ben huffs. 

"As if you'd tell me any way, horn dog."

Callum scoffs and pinches his side, making Ben laugh and pinch him back. It's nice to see him smile, not because he's relieved, or posturing - but because he's with Callum and that's where he wants to be.

"Hate this," Ben says with a sigh, back to touching Callum's face again, running a hand along his side. It does hurt, in a distant way, like an old wound scarring over. It's finished now, and will hopefully never happen again.

Ben's battle has only just begun.

Callum grabs his phone again.

_ I promise I'm fine. But if you want to kiss me better that's up to you _

He grins when he shows Ben, and gets a sly smirk in return. Callum's phone drops heavy to the floor as Ben grabs for Callum, pressing a sharp kiss against his mouth. Callum opens for it, a noise rumbling from the back of his throat as his tongue rolls out to meet Ben's.

It's a heady few moments of Ben kissing him dirtily, forcing Callum onto his back as he pulls at his shirt, demanding, off, off.

When he sees the grazes and the mottled bruises he sobers again, looking at Callum with watery eyes.  _ I'm good _ , Callum promises once more, digging nails into Ben's sides as he moves to straddle Callum's hips.

"He's a dead man," Ben says like an oath, but Callum grabs his face to make him look.

_ Don't. _

_ " _ Callum _ ," _

_ It's just you,  _ he tells Ben, a hand on his chest _. And me. _

Slowly, Callum can see Ben start to unwind. Can see the anger and tension and guilt unravel like rope, like it had twisted his whole body into knots. It's still there, some of it, as he leans in close to Callum, but he's hopeful Ben will let him bear some of the pain.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," Ben tells him, pressing a soft kiss to Callum's brow, then peppering more down along his face, his cheek, his throat. Callum fists a hand in Ben's shirt, and the other in his hair, trying to watch and feel and breathe all at the same time. It's a lot.

"I'm sorry you got hurt because I care about you," he says, now further down Callum's body, his kisses becoming longer, and wetter, and the short bristles of his beard sending sparks to Callum's cock, and to his toes. They curl.

Ben gets his mouth to Callum's belly, noses at the line of skin just above his belt, and when he looks up at Callum he's smiling but it's still sad. "I'm sorry I can't hear you right now," he confesses, his hand starting to fumble with the button.

Callum stops him. He pulls him back up, getting Ben under him, watching Ben's eyes go dark with the promise of it all. 

"Callum," he says thickly, gasping as Callum grabs Ben's hand and holds it to his face, his throat.

_ Feel _ , Callum tells him, gasping against Ben's palm.  _ See _ .

Ben kisses him again, kisses him sweetly and intimately and filthy until their both a tangle of naked limbs twisted in the sheets. It's like a fever dream, foggy and peaceful and impossible. It's like neither of them are real. 

But they are, and they're here. With each other.

Let the world throw whatever it wanted at them.

Nothing was going to break this.

**Author's Note:**

> thefancyspin @ tumblr


End file.
